Why You’re Not my Favorite Aunt Even Though It’s Cool You Live at the Airport

I like that we get to go to the airport every time Mommy and Daddy drop you off at home. I like that you live there. I like to see the planes. But, here’s what is not fair: when you come over to my house, I let you play with my airplanes but you don’t ask me to come in and play with yours.

You give me lots of presents, I’ll give you points for that. But my other aunts give me presents and a slice of cake. You think you can just mail a present and not a slice of cake? Even when I’m four!?

Did you know I’ve never been on an airplane but I think that would be fun? I like to be up high.

You look like my mom and I don’t appreciate the confusion. I’m already dealing with a lot, like why does Mommy treat “Monday” so different than “Sunday?” Is it because she doesn’t like the /m/ sound as much as the /s/ sound? Is it because you’re never here on a whatever a Monday is? I can’t think of many differences between these days.

You sleep too much.

You are keeping the clouds all to yourself. I don’t want anymore watercolors to paint the sky, I want you to bring me a cloud from your house.

I like watching Bluey with you but my other aunts watch Bluey way more, so they get my jokes and understand how to play Bluey games. When I point to them and say HEAVY they know how to pretend to be too heavy. When I point at you and said HEAVY you stop eating pizza and look sad.

The shirt you sent that says “Someone in L.A. loves me” was confusing. What is L.A.? Who is there who loves me? Why didn’t you send a shirt that said “Somebody who lives at the airport loves me” Why is the shirt green when I like yellow most?

For all these reasons, my favorite aunt is Gramma. Mommy says she is not my aunt. She says “similar because she’s family but not the same.” So many things are similar but not that same, like I said, I don’t need this stress and Gramma gives me the most cake and applesauce pouches so she is my favorite aunt.

She also said that when she starts living at the airport someday that I can come.